请帮我看一下雅思大作文,感激不尽,评分与修改,

请帮我看一下雅思大作文,感激不尽,评分与修改,
我又来了,这回是文章,上回抱歉啊,太匆忙了,请帮我看看
There has been a debate about whether young people should go out for work or having trip for a year before entering the university.Some people maintain that young students should train themselves regarding social experiences and widen their knowledge at that age.The trend has both benefit and drawbacks.
Young people find a job or take a trip at such an age may not be unwise.They are still a child that can not identify the negative of society.Therefore young students may easily be cheated.On the other hand,after experienced for a year in society,they may distracted the attention from the class,feeling not adapted to their new life in university.
On the contrary,people who support the aspect believe that young students have the ability to face various social phenomenons.It provides a good opportunity for them to gain some experiences .Meanwhile,students can be surely widen their horizons and enhance the capacity of adjustment.Unlike students graduating from high school and staying at home have nothing to do.They enjoy the achievement of what they have done,and learn the process of earning money is hard.In a word,there are more advantages to propose youngsters should work or travel for a year.
All in all,students can turn to be very mature after having worked for a year.There are both merits and demerits.But I firmly hold that youngsters should be encouraged to work or travel before they get to the university.
in some countries young people are encourage to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies.discuss the advantages and disadvantages gor young people who decide to do this.