yesterday i wrote a article in english ,could you please kindly point out the mistake I made?

yesterday i wrote a article in english ,could you please kindly point out the mistake I made?
last week,we caught five little fish during a fishing game in the park near our home.last sunday,I took my son to the park to have fun.As we were walking past a pool which was surrounded by a crowd of people,my son was curious and insisted on taking a look at it.I tired to take him away,but he stood there didn't move.I evantually gave in to him .when we approached the pool,we noticed there were many people fishing,everybody on the bank was busy collecting the string then throw the string out continuously and the fishes were hooked one by one.my son found it was so interesting that he importuned me to have a try.After I had given some money to the owner,he handed us a fish pole and told us the rules about the game:0.8 yuan per minute.pay 10yuan in advacne.
my son was lucky,in eight minutes he caught five little fishes.when we handed back the pole ,the owner told us that we were allowed to take the fishes home.my son was excited!we had no sooner gotten home than He got a clear glass aquarium and put them in it.he went outside buying fish food quickly and feed them carefully.however,three days after he went to school,the fishes began to die one after one,finally ,the only one left alive was the biggest goldfish.I thought she would die at any time like her friends .I watched her anxiously every day,one day past ,two days past,a week past,but nothing happened.To my surprise,so far,she is still alive.it has been half an month since she came to our home.in a way,it is a lucky fish.isn't it?