求英语大神帮忙检查一下这个语段有没有语法错误……谢

求英语大神帮忙检查一下这个语段有没有语法错误……谢
Hello ,everyone,now I will give s speech for you,and the theme of my speech is “the birth of Harry potter”……
Everyone knows Herry Potter,but do you know the birth of Herry Potter?I will tell you……
24 years ago,J.K. Rowlingwas a British female writer who was a simple mother ,her was very poor,but she never gives up to write novels.when she in the train to Mancheste（曼彻斯特）, a thin, wears glasses boy, has been in the window to her smile. He came into her life and she had the idea of writing harry potter. Although at that time, she don't have a pen or paper, she began to imagine.So, harry potter was born - a 10 year old little boy, has black hair, and bright green eyes, wearing a pair of glasses, has a long and thin scar on his forehead...
But her house was too small and she feel very cold,she had to write《Harry potter》in there（ppt 显示）This is a coffee shop called “the elephant house”,J.K. Rowling use 6 years to write the first part of 《harry potter》
And in 1997,《Harry potter and the poilosophers stone》came out.It very popular with young people,J.K. Rowling had a little success.
In next 10 years,she wrote another six parts of《harry potter》,More and more people started to notice it.They make J.K. Rowling rich and famous.
And in last twelve years,movie《harry potter》screened in the world.It is more and more popular with young people.because it is interesting.And J·K Rowling had big success.
She is a common person who likes reading and writing,when she wrote《Harry Potter》,she was very poor but she but now,But now,she is the richest writer and received a lot of prize.
Her experience tell us：you will be successful as long as you work hard and you have dream.