急求高中生4人英语话剧剧本

《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）
本文来自: 恒星英语学习网( 详细出处参考：
焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)
焦母Johnny’smother(JMforshort)刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)
太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort)强盗Burglars(ABandC)
Prologue
(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)
J:EverybodysaysthatI’mhenpecked,butinfact,I’masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeisWuSong.
(指着上台处的门大声道)I’mnotafraidofyou!
(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’mafraidofwhom?
MywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.Sheisbraverthanme,
smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetender
thanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)
MyGod!Whocanhelpme?(下)
Act1
(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)
JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!
(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?
L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’mhere!What’supmum?
JM:I’vetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuland
dearestmother-in-law”.
L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
JM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Neverinterruptme!
L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyourson,thatterribleJohnny,Ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)Goandaskyour
son.I’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

Cathy
Susan
Angel and Servant
Aside and Clerk
Summary
Susan很苗条,Cath和胖,她们是好朋友,不过却都羡慕对方……
This story is about two good friends Cathy and Susan.Cathy is a very thin girl; on the other hand,Susan is a very heavy girl.Therefore Cathy and Susan want to change themselves.
Scene I
(Cathy and Susan encounter each other on a street.)
Cathy:Hello,Susan.How are you?
Susan:I’m not doing well.
Cathy:Why not?
Susan:I’m too fat.I want to lose some weights.
Cathy:Really?But I want to become fat.
Susan:Are you crazy?Being fat is a terrible thing.Look at me.My abdomen looks like a swimming belt.It is so ugly.
(Cathy touches Susan’s abdomen.)
Cathy:But it is tender and makes me feel content.
Susan:You’re so kind.Your words make me happy.
Cathy:I’m serious,no kidding.
Susan:God!(Touches her own forehead and sigh)
Why are you not me and I am not you?
(Susan seems to intend doing something.)
Susan:We don’t like our figures and want to change ourselves,we can work hard together.
Cathy:It sounds good.I can help you and you can help me.That’s wonderful.(Saying loudly)
Susan:We begin planning right away.
Cathy:Uh!Let’s go.
Scene II
(Firstly Cathy brings Susan to a famous store named Trust me.)
Servant:Welcome!Do you want to take part in our class?
Cathy:Yes!We will.
Servant:Ok!
Susan:Why do you take me here?
Cathy:I see that “Trust me,you can make it” commercial on TV.It looks great.So I want to trust it and help you become thinner.
Susan:Oh…!Why do you also particular in?
Cathy:Because we are good friends,we should do it together.(Ha!Ha!)
(After several days)
Susan:Why?It’s no use to me,but you become much thinner.(Crying)
Cathy:I don’t want it,too.(Crying)
(The two girls are very angry to look the servant.)
Servant:It’s not my fault.(She escapes from the store.)
Scene III
(Later,Susan takes Cathy to McDonalds.)
Cathy:McDonalds?
Susan:Fast food has high calories.It is the best food to make you fat.
Clerk:May I help you?
Susan:I want to order four hamburgers,ten drumsticks,five french fries and two cokes.
Clerk:What?
Cathy:Sorry,give us a minute.(Talks to the waiter)
(Cathy pulls Susan’s arm and moves to the side.)
Cathy:I can’t eat all of them.
Susan:The food is not just for you.
Cathy:Don’t you want to be thin?
Susan:Yes.
Cathy:You can’t eat them,because they will make you fat.
Susan:But I can’t oppose the attraction.
(Cathy gives Susan a look.)
Susan:Let me think.
(Suddenly,an angel and an evil appear.)
Evil:You can eat it.Anyway,you have time to lose weight.
Angel:If you eat them now,you would do the same thing next time.You will not lose any weight.
Evil:Listen to me.I’m right.
Angel:No,he’s wrong.
(Evil begins to fight against the angel.)
Susan:Enough!Go away!(Yells to the evil and the angel)
Cathy:Are you OK?
Susan:Uh!I decide to eat today.
Cathy:OK!
Susan:I want to order the same food that I ordered before.
Clerk:OK!Please wait a minute.
(They sit down and begin to eat.)
Cathy:Um…It’s so greasy.Do I have to eat this?
Susan:Yes,you must eat it.I can help you.(Susan takes food to stuff Cathy’s mouth.) Poor girl!
Scene IV
(Angel and Evil appear again.)
Angel:Are you sure it’s good for her?
Evil:If you don’t believe me,you could see the result later.
Angel:I hope you are right.
(Several weeks later,they walk along the street.)
Susan:I’m so hungry.I want to eat.
Cathy:I’m so full.I want to vomit.
(They hug each other and cry loudly.)
Cathy:I don’t want to be fat.
Susan:I don’t want to be thin.(They say it at the same time.)
(Angel takes the evil that is rope appears.)
Angel:You use the wrong way to achieve your purposes.You need to ask a professional nutritionist.
Cathy and Susan:So…!(They look at each other with some special meaning,and then catch the angel’s leg.)
Cathy and Susan:You must know some shortcut to help us.
Cathy and Susan:We won’t let you go until you help us.
Angel:Oh,god!
(Cathy and Susan chase the angel.The evil stays there.)
Evil:What has happened?(Shrug)