刚写的英语作文,做演讲用.求英语大神帮忙检查下,看看有没有错,还有啥能改的地方没?（本人初二）

刚写的英语作文,做演讲用.求英语大神帮忙检查下,看看有没有错,还有啥能改的地方没?（本人初二）
[原文]
Hello,everyone!Today is my turn to make a speech.I’m going to talk about computer security.Everyone knows that Windows XP is a famous operating system.There are 30% PCs using Windows XP now.But Windows XP is old.Many games and software will not support Windows XP.On April 8,2014,support and updates for Windows XP will no longer be available.In the meantime,malware's favorite target is the older Windows XP.You can reduce the risk by using a mac,or by upgrading from the insecure Windows XP to Windows 8.1,and installing anti-virus software.Windows 8.1 is faster,safer and more powerful than Windows XP.You can visit Microsoft Developer Center or msdn.itellyou.cn to download Windows 8.1.You can also buy it from Microsoft Store.That‘s all,thank you!
[参考译文]
今天轮到我为大家做演讲.我将要讨论计算机安全.众所周知,Windows XP是一个著名的操作系统,有30%的计算机正在运行Windows XP.但Windows XP已经旧了,许多游戏和软件将不再支持Windows XP.在2014年4月8日,Windows XP的支持和更新将会终止.同时,恶意软件爱好者的目标还是那些老的Windows XP.为了减少风险,你可以使用MAC,或由不安全的Windows XP升级到Windows 8.1,并安装防病毒软件.Windows 8.1比Windows XP更快、更安全也更强大.你可以访问微软开发者中心或msdn.itellyou.cn来下载Windows 8.1,你也可以从微软商城购买.这就是全部,