英语老师进来下.请为这篇作文打分 有什么不足或错误的地方 请指出..

英语老师进来下.请为这篇作文打分 有什么不足或错误的地方 请指出..
In the passage ,the author tried to tell us children needing their parents’ direction,parents should sit down as well as talk with them about what they should do and should not do.
As for me ,parents should be responsible for children‘s action .Because children’s life is gaven by parent .If parents don't teach and ignore children ,they will make a lot of mistakes .I remember my childhood .My parent was too busy to stay at home so that I used to stay at home alone .One day ,I was so bored that I wanted to break something which is in my home .Quickly,I saw a cup .And then ,I went to catch and throw it at wall .Finally ,the cup broken made me hurt .If parent teached me before it happen ,it had no thing .
I have stuggestions for parents .Frist ,parents should often talk with children about what they are allowed to do and forbidden to do .Second,parents should become children's model.
题目是第一篇 .本人的基础比较烂...所以想狂补一下英语..毕竟要高考了...
25分的作文能拿到 15分就好.