求英语小故事或小笑话

第1则 汤姆的生日
Tom’s Birthday
It was Tom’s birthday,and he was five years old.He got quite a lot of nice birthday presents from his family,and one of them was a beartiful big drum.
“Who gave him that thing?”answered Tom’s mother.
“me”said his father.
Of course,Tom liked his drum very much.He made terrible noise with is,but his mother did not mind.His father was working during the day,and Tom was in bed when he got home in the evening,so he did not hear the noise.
But one of the neighbours did not like noise at all.So one morning a few days later she took a sharp knife and went to Tom’s house while he was hitting his drum.She said to him,”Hello,Tom,do you know,there’s something very nice inside your drum.Here is a knitf.Open the frum and let’s find it.”
那天是汤姆五岁的生日,他从家人那里得到了很多不错的礼物,其中有一件礼物是一只漂亮的大鼓.
“这是谁给他的呢?”汤姆妈妈问道.
“我.”爸爸说.
当然,汤姆非常喜欢这个大鼓.虽然他敲鼓的声音很难听,但妈妈却从不在意.汤姆爸爸因为白天工作,而且当爸爸回家时汤姆已经睡觉了,所以爸爸并没有听见过这些噪音.
但是,他们的一位邻居非常不高兴.几天后的一个早上,当她又一次听到汤姆的噪音时,她带着锋利的小刀来到汤姆家：”嘿,汤姆,你知道吗你的鼓里有好东西,打开它,我们一起找找那好东西吧 .
第2则：心目中的英雄Personal Hero
Our granddaughter's second-grade class was asked to write about their personal heroes. Her father was flattered to find out that she had chosen him. "Why did you pick me?" he asked.
"Because I couldn't spell Arnold Schwarzenegger," she said.
我们的孙女儿读二年级,老师要求班上的同学写他们心目中的英雄.她的爸爸发现她选择了他,真是受宠若惊.“你为什么选我呢?”他问.
“因为我不会拼阿诺得.施瓦辛格(Arnold Schwarzenegger),“她说.
第3则：一个数学问题
A Problem in Arithmetic
Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Bill and he went into the store.
"How much are the apples?" he asked the store.
"Six for five cents."
"But I don't want six apples."
"How many apples do you want?"
"It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic."
"What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?" asked the man.
"Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you."
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.
比尔是一个好学生,也是个聪明的孩子.他喜欢学数学,课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答.
有一天,在上学路上,比尔经过一家水果店.该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：“苹果--五美分六个.”比尔脑筋一转,进了店门.
“苹果怎么卖?”
“五美分六个.”
“但我不想要六个.”
“你想要几个?”
“这不是我想要几个的问题.这是个数学问题.”
“数学问题?你说这话是什么意思?”
“你看,如果六个苹果五美分,那么五个苹果四美分,四个苹果三美分,三个苹果二美分,二个苹果一美分,一个苹果就不要钱.我只要一个苹果,如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话,那我也就没必要给你钱了.”
比尔拣了一个好苹果,开始吃了起来,然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门.那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩,一句话也说不出来.