Most people like New Year's Day though they have a lot of housework to do.有谁能告诉我这片文章的全文
Most people like New Year's Day though they have a lot of housework to do.
有谁能告诉我这片文章的全文
To begin,this is a throwaway,since I believe my ex-wife (or her new husband) may be a redditor.
I'm 28,was married for 5 years prior to my divorce 2 years ago.I am Canadian,and I'm ex-military.
I met my wife when I was 19,just returning from Afghanistan for the first time.She was everything I ever wanted in a woman:she was kind,intelligent,witty,funny,caring and faithful (or so I thought).We met through a mutual friend,and quickly hit it off.
I left soon after meeting her,once more on rotation in Afghanistan.We kept touch through email whenever possible.When I returned six months later,one again,we hit it off.I was madly in love with her.
At 21,she dropped the bomb:she was pregnant.Coming from a rather Catholic family,I felt it was my duty to propose.I was planning to anyway,just not so early.She accepted.We were married 3 months later,and our son was born 4 months after that.Holding him for the first time,I felt that it was the first time in my life that I was a man,and not a boy.Looking at those blue eyes,I knew that from that point forth,it would be my sole duty in life to provide for him and his mother,to teach him to be all the things I believed were good in life:honorable,respectful,disciplined and thoughtful.I devoted every second of my life from that point forth to prepare his future,and I decided to start a college savings fund for him.I was determined to be a good father.
When he was 1,I was once again asked to go to Afghanistan.I was hesitant,but the bonus for serving overseas was a tremendous opportunity for me to set us up financially.I agreed,and I left for 7 months.My third month in,without going into too much detail,things turned ugly.Myself and many of my comrades were wounded (some killed) by an IED.I nearly lost my life,and to this day,I carry some fairly severe scars and burns on a good portion of my body.
When in Germany (where NATO troops get treated for serious injuries),I attempted frantically to contact my wife.She had not responded to emails for weeks,and the few she had answered were rather brief and cold.I felt terrible for leaving her behind,and I figured that's why she was being distant.
About a month later,I was back in Kandahar.Although not working in my normal combat arms trade,I felt I still needed to stay for financial reasons.My son was the only thing keeping me there.The bonus was that I had access to phones and computers,so I also hoped to patch things up with my wife (whatever it may have been...)
(I'll fast forward a bit...since I'm digressing too much.)
About the 2nd month back in Kandahar,I received an email from my neighbor,who happened to be a Master Warrant Officer.I figured it was something important in regards to my work.He asked that I call him,so I did.Unknowingly,I woke him up at 1 AM,but he was non the less pressed to speak to me.What he said I will never ever ever forget.There was another man living in my PMQ he said.A young officer.My heart sank,and I had no idea what to do.I had another couple of months to go,and I was heartbroken.I quickly sought council from an AJAG and my commanding officers.Eventually,through some side dealings,they were able to send me home for medical reasons (I legitimately have PTSD).
When I arrived back in the country,I went straight home.When I arrived,my house was empty.She left.All that was left,on the floor (she took EVERYTHING),were divorce papers,and they were dated from 8 months back.This was a long time coming.
After contacting my own lawyer,he advised that I would simply have to go through the courts,and that it was unwise for me to approach my wife without council.Obviously,I was rather irrational,and instead,thought I could talk it out with her.I asked my neighbor where she could be found,and he told me the name of the officer.
Now,reddit,I know what's going on in TwoX's mind right now.You most likely think that I'm a violent brute,and that no matter what I type,there was a violent altercation when I visited them.I assure you,that is NOT the case.I pray that you can take my words at face value,because this story is the truth.
Upon seeing my wife and her new man,I was so heartbroken.They looked like they had been together for a long time.Longer then I had been in her life.It was the case.As I approached the front door,I could see them through the window in their living room.I knocked,and he answered.I asked if I could speak to my wife,and he let me in.
All three of us sat together at the living room table,and we talked like adults.She explained that they were former lovers in her youth (he was older by 5 years),and that they had rekindled their romance.After a few hours of tears and talks,I understood that I was not the love of her life.In that moment,I signed the papers and the divorce agreement,and handed it to her.The only issue of contention was our son:she wanted full custody.I didn't understand why.
What she told me next changed me for ever:Carlin was not mine,but his.I was shattered,and not able to handle the humiliation,I left in tears.
For the next month,I was a depressed alcoholic on the edge of suicide.Only to show up for the final ruling in the divorce proceedings did I clean up.What happened in the judges chambers set the stage for the rest of my life.
Not only was I not to have custody of Carlin,I was explicitly told never to see him again (she accused me of violent behavior due to my PTSD).I contested,but alas,the female judge sided with my wife.On top of that,I was to pay child support in the amount of 1750$ (plus 750 in alimony) a month.At this point,I contested that I should not pay without a paternity test (which would prove that I am not the father).The courts however,to not discriminate according to biology.My name was on the certificate,and I signed it.
It's been 2 years since all that went down.I went bankrupt,but I'm still forced to pay.I'm no longer in the military either.Currently,I'm living a reclusive life in the Yukon.I haven't seen her,or my son since.
So,to conclude,this is why marriage CAN (not necessarily always) be a very very bad deal for men.I know all well what happened,and no matter if I am on the side of truth,I was treated simply as a means to her ends.I don't know if she still thinks of me,or regrets what she's done...all I know is that she got her happy ending,and me,well,it's just me,my dog,and nature.
TL;DR My ex-wife bled me dry,lied to me about the kid being mine,broke my heart,and now I'm a hermit