精彩的英语小故事,要两分钟以下的,

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。

The teacher asked Tom:why did you come to school so late this morning?someone lost one yuan,answered Tom,oh,I konw,you helped him find the money ,the techer sais,no,I stood on the money until the person went away,was Tom's reply
the water was getting dangerously deep by now so the helicopter came back and,on cue,the man repeated,I don't need saving,my lord will come.Reluctantly,the helicopter leftthe rain continued to pour,the water continued to rise and the man drowned ,At the gate of heaven,the man met St,peter,confused,he asked,peter,I havelived a life of a faithfulman,why did my lord not rescue me?st peter repliedFor pity sake,He sent you two helicopters and a boat.
two guys were walking through the jungle,all of a sudden,a tger appears from a distance,running towards them,one of the guys takes out a pair of Nikes from his bag and starts to put them on,the guy other with a surprised look on his face exclaaims,Do you think you will runfaster than the tiger with those,his friends replies,I don't have to run it out,I just have yo run faster than you.
Mrs ford sobbed to her maid,Oh beverly,I think my husband is leving an affair with his secretary,I can't believe thatBeverly snapped,you are just saying that to make me jealous
the plane crashed Nast is black athlete from Africa,he was the world champion for men's 100meters' butterfly swimming in the Barelona Olympic Games he captured only a bronze medal,when he was interviewed by a reporter,he said,during the match ,the spectators all shouted joy and encouragement to me,Mr plane,cheer up,but unfortunately,the plane crashed tonight.
before singing,a famouse actor from * was asking the audience in his hometon,have you heard my singingbefor,when he received a mixture of responses,he marked it's a great pity that you havn't heard my singing,nut it's even great pity once you have heard my singing.
Two friens meet in the strret whe the following conversation takes plane JaneI havent seen you recentlywhat are you busy at Mary well,you know,I have so mant appointments with my doctor these days Iane,whant's wrong with you mary Nothing wrong with me physically the doctor is my father
a serous drunk walked into a bar and,after ataring for some time at the onlty womn seatedf at the bar,walked over to her and kissed her,she jumped up and slapped him silly,he immediately apologized and explainedI'm sorrry i thought you were my wife,you look exactly like herwhy you worthless,insufferable,wretched no good frunk,she screamed,funny,he muttered,you even sound exactly like her

马克·吐温是一位美国作家.一天,他坐火车去一个城市,要在那儿探望一个朋友他是一个很忙的人,经常会忘记一些事情.当他上了火车,列车员要看他的车票.马克·吐温到处找票,但是没找着.这位列车员认识马克·吐温,他说：“...