3QRT I think if she holds on to her dream ,the dream that becoming a singer will come ture.自我感觉还好 那改成什么呢....

有点繁琐，精简一下，I think if she stick to her dream,she will realize it and become a real singer.

我觉得可以改成：in my opinion, if she holds on to her dream of becoming of a singer, the dream will come true.

不正确，that是连接词，连接从句，常见定语从句和同位语从句。因此不需要that，直接用I think if she holds on to her dream ,the dream of becoming a singer will come ture.另外，楼上所说的也不对，the dream 和 become a singer 不是定语从句，而是同位语的关系，所以which is to become 是不正确的。因为不是the dream become a singer。

本身的确很好，只不过这个同位语从句用错了，改成the dream to become a singer…… 就行了，或者：the dream that she will become a singer ....

that becoming不对,要么不要that,要么which is to become

改成：the dream that is becoming(to become) a singer will come true.
that引导的定语从句用的时候一定要记住，定语从句也是一个完整的句子，你用that代替dream做从句中的主语，那谓语或系动词呢，只用becoming不是一个完整的句子了，对吧。