求高手帮忙批改我的雅思大作文↓ 目标是6.0,6.5,虽然貌似还差很远.在语法和中国式英语上帮忙指导一下

求高手帮忙批改我的雅思大作文↓ 目标是6.0,6.5,虽然貌似还差很远.在语法和中国式英语上帮忙指导一下
Topic：
It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or usic,and others are not.Howere,it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become aggod sports person or musicaian.
下个月7号考试,第一次考.
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People have been constantly talking about whether someone who is born with nature talents in special ares is easy to get great achievements more than the common individuals.
In my opinion,nature talents are crutialin the access to be a specialist.Genes of well-talentd parents give a main factor for their children.He/She who could be found is good at some area in his/hier early time compared with others.Some of them learning things quickly and some of the can do well even without training.To some extend,nature talented children often considered on easy understanding things without or with less self effort.For istant,when Mozart was a little child,he never touched piano before he heard a song only once and then played it almost the same as the song it is.He did not give up music and was able to play piano and make music even after he got blind.As we can see that without nature talents lke this is almost impossible to render his a well-known musician.
On the other hand,people with nature talents are minority after all.There are some common people who do great achivements by continuing training and excising,made their names be curved on stones.But majority of them can not reach their aims on strengthen their physical power like some athelets ,or some can not make them more creative just by training.
However,talent people with self-effort are those one who can become specialist the most easy way.Born with talent is the best gift given by parents,therefor being use of it well is important.
In spite of this,for ordinary people,training maybe harder than talentless ones.Also,they may experience more stress.Continuous efforts are able to lead to great progress or approach to their dream as well.
字数好像有点少.