雅思作文 帮我批改下~~谢谢啦~（给个分数,怎么提高呢?）

雅思作文 帮我批改下~~谢谢啦~（给个分数,怎么提高呢?）
The belowing table shows us the percentage of different categories of families living in poverty which was in Australia in 1999.The table gives us six types of the family.
First one is single aged person ,the proportion is 6% that there are 54000 peoper.Next is aged couple, with 48000 people which proportion is 4% , lower than the single aged person . And the third type has a dramatically increase , the proportion in poverty jump into 19% with 359000 people.The single ,no children family must take too much pressure on both the family and the job . And beneth that is the couple ,no children family , the proportion of it is 7% with 211000 people .Next but the biggest proportion of all the types is sole parent ,21% in each household type living in poverty . With 12% the couple with children is the last type . The totally people of the table is 1837000 , and the average proportion is 11%.
There are three types above the average proportion ,single,no children ,sole parent and couple with children .And single aged person ,aged couple and couple ,no children types are the opposite.It seems obvious that the family which have children will be more poverty in each household. Single would be more part of poverty than those couple.