Gre argument

Gre argument
下面是题目和我写的文章,
Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment.Within this group of people,75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets,knee pads,etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights,glow-in-dark wrist pads,etc.).Clearly,these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment,rollerskaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.
    The author's argument of roller skaters have to wear protective equipment to reduce the risk of injured in an accident seems to make sense.But it yet have some leaks.The hospital statistics that the author quoted only contains partly factor of rollerskating accident.
    First,the author says that 75 percents of  roller skaters had accidents with no protective equipment.But he is not consider the skill level of those skaters.Apparently,this skill level vary from person to person ,furthermore,a senior skater has less possible had accident than a junior skater.This factor should be considered.
    
    Second,the author just involves two places,streets and parking lots,this is not enough to illustrate all situation.The roller skaters not only play in these two places,they can play in more places such as squares,indoor the rink etc.Every individual place has different dangerous level.So this hospital's statistic is incomplete,it just contains two of those places.It is can not use the part data to estimate the overall situation.
    Last,the author has not consider the goal of the individual skaters.Does he skate only for relax or want to compete with others?This is also important.The skaters who play just for fun will choose the more safe place than the people for competition.So these people should has less possible to have accidents.To get more accurate result ,these two groups of peopler should regard separately.
    In conclusion,although the author provided the hospital statistic in his argument,but the statistic itself also has leaks,so this statistic is insufficiently  to support his argument and thus the author just consider of the partly factor.It could not to use the part to express the overall.There are serval additional factor should be considered such as the safety of different places,the age range of the roller-skaters,etc.However,this argument has none of them.