When I’m with youI still remember clearly We sat by the lakeAnd Listened to your singing the songYour lively voice with the beautiful melody makes me crazyI’ll remember all of thatWhen I’m with youI am thinking of a dazzling girl every second Thinking of your big bright eyesThinking of your smooth hairThinking of your sweet smileYou are so perfect When I’m with youWhenever and Wherever it is ,What you have doneMakes me happy,makes me enjoyableAnd make

作文？
歌词？

跟写情诗似的？哈哈，不只是文章修改吧？首先，内容很紧凑顺畅，但是语言上表达的感情有点欠缺。我给你一点儿启示，看看能不能帮到你。首先，你有一个三句连在一起的think of ，句意表达得就不准确，因为这个词是有想像到，对…有想法，以及想出，想起的含义，但是感情不浓厚，而think back to sth,则有回想，追忆的意思，更为醇厚悠长，会让文章增色不少。同时还有另一种方法，moved by your smooth hair,touched by…，attached by…等词都可以代表被她的美“拴”住了的意思，同样可以丰富句式。
而且最重要的，是你的时态还有进一步挖掘的空间，比如when i'm with you 还成，when i was with you能脱险出追忆，怀念，和动情的感觉。不知道你有没有同感呢？这样的文章要慢慢地琢磨，而不能急急地解决，自己加入的感情往往是最合适的。

When I’m with youI still remember clearly We sat by the lakeAnd Listened to your singing the songYour lively voice with the beautiful melody made me crazyI’ll remember all of thatWhen I’m with youI...

When I’m with you
I still remember clearly
We sat by the lake
And Listened to your singing the song
Your lively voice with the beautiful melody makes me crazy
I’ll remember all of that
When I’m with you
I am thinking of a dazzling girl every second
Thinking of your big bright eyes
Thinking of your smooth hair
Thinking of your sweet smile
You are so perfect
When I’m with you
Whenever and Wherever it is , What you have done
Makes me happy, makes me enjoyable
And makes the loneliness be away from me

We walked at the road of park together
With the clear lake, fresh air
And bright stars hanging in the sky
Remember still?
We rode a horse together
And sat closely
even I could feel your body temperature！
We watched movies together
You sat next to me
In the weak light
I saw your beautiful face
What a hysterical girl
We ate KFC together
The food was in you lips
That was so cute
We played around together
The feeling was so cool
When I’m with you
Though I have many shortcomings as well
I’ll try my best to overcome them
Now I do not drop the garbage anywhere any more
I drop them into the dustbin as well as you
When I’m with you
Maybe we’ll never meet after this morning
The last thing you have left to me is your sweety smile
And your warm hug
……………
I read the words on the wall
And on your card
Star light, star bright
The first star I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
……………
Seriously
Give you my words now
I will always remember you
I will always keep a warm place in my heart for you
And I promise to that we’ll keep in touch
I’ll keep the promise which I promise to you
When I’m with you
The days when we were together are unforgettable
I will always remember the days we lived together forever
Thanks you for giving me so many happy memories
I’ll miss you everyday