帮我看看有没有错误I'd like to inform you that we will have a renovation of the company's dining hall because we want to provide a better dining environment to our staff.The renovation will last 15 days form 1st September to 15th September.During this period,we will offer you the delivery cartering service.

我看着没有

because we want to provide a better dining environment for our staff.
a renovation of the company's 改为 a renovation in the company's
form 1st September 改为from the 1st of September （后面同样你应该这样写就可以了September 15th）
the delivery cartering service改为a delivery cartering service
I'd like to inform you that we will have a renovation of the company's dining hall because we want to provide a better dining environment FOR our staff.The renovation will last 15 days form 1st September to 15th September.During this period,we will offer you the delivery cartering service.
动词词组：provide sth. for sb.
原文句子需要修改为：
．．．provide a better dining environment for our staff.

动词词组：provide sth. for sb.
原文句子需要修改为：
．．．provide a better dining environment for our staff.

because we want to provide a better dining environment for our staff.

a renovation of the company's 改为 a renovation in the company's form 1st September 改为from the 1st of September （后面同样你应该这样写就可以了September 15th）the delivery cartering service改为a deli...

I'd like to inform you that we will have a renovation of the company's dining hall because we want to provide a better dining environment FOR our staff.The renovation will last 15 days form 1st September to 15th September.During this period,we will offer you the delivery cartering service.